From passions and surfaces
by lemon jones
Summary: She thought that running away from her faith was gonna worth it, that leaving everything behind will work her dream out. But at the end of the day, the only thing she can have in her mind is him. Jughead Jones will haunt her forever. When it comes to passions, hard decisions always come along, at least she has her daughter to mirror the love of her life as time pass by. BugheadAU
1. Prologue

_**I do not own Jughead Jones or Elizabeth Cooper. I just would rip out my heart for them.**_

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 **Prologue**

I really thought there was a life after him.

A life where I could fully smile without feeling the tears breaking in. The guilty breaking in.

The feeling never leaves. And by now, I truly believe it will never leave. _He_ will never leave.

It's not like the memories keep me awake at night, no. The memories could care less about hunting me unconscious. The memories crossed my mind randomly day lightly. Every time I neglected myself, they were there all over again. _He_ was there. _He_ was always there.

If I would've known it'd be like this—no, I still would've left.

When the thoughts weren't there, the nightmares sure were. They were all different, but they all ended up the same. The sadness in his eyes will never disappear. And the cheesy line will never be erased. _Goodbye Forsythe Pendleton Jones. I wish you'd never have met me. I know I wish I hadn't._

The lump in the throat was inevitable. I had my eyes closed, my mind away and my heart chopping.

'Mommy, mommy'

As soon as I turned my lamp on I was able to see her peeking the door. She was stroking her eyes with her blanket, her blonde long hair was messy but her angelic face seemed worried.

'What's going on, chérie?' I removed the blankets over me slowly and palmed the empty side of the bed letting her know I wanted her next to me.

She didn't think it twice. She did her best to get on the bed by herself, and she did it; how could she not, she was fearless. I couldn't help to give her a grin.

'I had a bad dream, mommy' She laid on the pillow, putting her hands under her ear, so she could looked at my face better. I imitated her. 'I was lost, mommy. I didn't have you by my side. It was all dark mommy, I am afraid of the dark'

'Me too, chérie. I've been afraid of it since I was your age' I stroke her hair smiling at her, trying to calm her down.

'Really, mommy? So that means we are the same?' Her eyes were giving up to sleep.

'We are chérie, we are' I said tucking her hair in her ear, and she smile a little, already traveling to dream land.

But I knew I was lying. Even when she had golden straight hair, when she had hypnotizing eyes. I knew I never saw me on them. I knew the true: she wasn't my copy. She was his. And at the end of the night I was certainly relieved of having my very own version of Jughead Jones to sleep next to.

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 **HIIIII. I'm very excited about this story. I've never written anything river-related before. I hope you enjoy this little prologue. This is going to be a long and slow burn ride, the kind of stories that should be epic. Kinda dark, kinda soft. Don't hesitate on leaving a comment if you have any doubts or not, or just want to say hi. Whatever it is, it will be very much appreciated. By the way, you may call me Lemon, everybody does.**


	2. Chapter One

**Chapter One**

'Where are we going today, mommy?' Olivia sat at the dinner table as I finished her eggs.

It was a beautiful day. Sunny, fresh, the kind of days I would've just dreamed before but now they were all grind. Everything was a grind.

'It's Sunday chérie, we must walk. Look at the sun, how it shines for you. You don't want to be rude by staying home, do you?' I smiled at her mockingly as I put the scrambled eggs on her plate.

She glanced at it and frowned.

'I want green eggs and ham, mommy'

I chuckled. Sometimes I wish she wasn't that smart. It was his mind working inside her head.

'You'll like these eggs, you'll see. Just try them' I served a cup of tea, observing how she wrinkled her face, afraid of the piece she was holding in front of her. At last she gave up the fear and chewed the eggs.

'You're right! You're always right mommy!' I laughed sipping the cup.

'Of course I am always right, otherwise my name wouldn't be Elizabeth Cooper' My heart stooped as soon as the sentence was finished. Elizabeth Cooper wasn't always right. If that was the case, my soul wouldn't sting every single night.

The sound of Olivia putting the dish inside the dishwasher brought me back from my thoughts. The little girl had already finished her breakfast, cleaned the table and was already walking to her bedroom to get ready. She was such an independent kid, sometimes it really amazed me how mature she was for only a six year old girl.

'Can I wear my pink hat today, mamma?' Olivia asked in front of the door, ready to discover the world outside it.

'Sure chérie'

This was one of the many traditions we had. We walked around the streets every sunny Sunday until we found a green wide space to lay on, waving hello at the people we could recognize. Every one of them loved the little angel that hung from my hand. And she always enlightened them with a white smile.

I always felt alone when I was a kid. I never really trusted anyone, and I can't say Jughead Jones was the exception to that statement. He knew me better than anyone else, yes, but because he was observant, because he used to care not because I really trusted him on anything. It was never his fault. It was mine. All of it, all of this was my fault. But I didn't regret anything. I left because I decided to. I started a new life by myself because I needed to prove I was capable of living for my own. Now, I had everything I've ever wanted. A dream to follow and someone to love.

But I wasn't gonna pass this curse to my little angel. She deserved to be happy, she deserved to trust. To have a family, and I was doing my best to replace what I took from her by being selfish at any chance, at any who. So yeah, the girl at the flower shop was part of our family. The old man at the bakery too. The girl in the library. The guy at the hair salon. And the list kept growing. And every single time Olivia passed by she smiled at them, as they were her whole world, only as she knew how to smile.

Every walk was different. With the time, I learned to appreciated every walk of my paradise, after all /I always said to myself/ if I decided to leave all behind for following my dreams to Paris alone, it should be worth it. Every step was a discovery. It was us against the world. We weren't alone, Paris was our family. And most importantly, we had each other.

'Mommy! Remember to wait for the green light to cross the street'

'You're right Ollie, I am sorry' I smiled at her and she rolled her eyes on dissaprove.

She was my guardian angel. Also, my wake up call from a life I felt empty, nonsense. As soon as I found out I was carrying her I knew I had to do something to change that monotony black hold I was being absorbed to.

'Look mommy! What do you think of that place?' she was pointing at some hill surrounded by trees not too far from where we were standing.

'It is perfect' I glanced at her with complicity and she chuckled victoriously. I let her hand go and she ran full of life and hope to the spot. I started to raise my rhythm, and soon enough I was running behind her. I felt the air traveling through my lungs, and it was making my nose burned, but I couldn't help but laugh. I looked at the sky and felt free, they were times like these that helped me realized that I hadn't make any mistake. That I chose right. Even when he was out of the picture, I was happy; we were happy.

I opened my arms and caught Olivia, she burst into laugh and suddenly we were a bunch of clothes and gold hair rolling on the grass. I started tickling her until she was crying of happiness.

'Stop, mommy! Stop! Its not fair!' she said moaning. I put a kiss in her forehead and laid by her side looking at the bright sky. The clouds had a stain of light pink. What made me fell in love with this city was that. The surreal trifles that took your breath away.

'What do you see, chérie?' I heard her brooding, twisting her nose thinking.

'There's a swan right there' I followed her little finger and frowned.

'A swan? I see an elephant. A pink elephant'

'Elephants aren't pink mamma'

'Of course they are. They are very rare but they do exist. I always dreamed of having a pink elephant for myself'

'What are you saying' she said laughing 'You couldn't have an elephant, much less one pink'

'I am just saying there's a pink elephant in the sky' I raised my brows firmly and Olivia rolled her eyes with a smile.

'Look! Now there's a crown!' she pointed out with extremely joy.

'You're right, that's a crown' my mouth became just a line, feeling the pain in my chest starting to show up.

'I've always wanted a crown mommy, would you buy me one?' Ollie laid on my chest and I stroked her hair.

'I promise you chérie, someday you'll have a crown'

She remained silent. Satisfied by my reply. Ten seconds later I heard her snore. She was an adventurer. I just hoped to raise her full of happiness, dreams and impossibilities. She was my little version of Alice in Wonderland.

What would he be doing right now? Did he think of me? Did his chest hurt as much as mine thinking of what could have been of us if I hadn't left?

He never wrote. He never tried to look up for me. It felt almost as I would've been none in his life. I couldn't blame him if he hated me.

Did he?

I never gave him an explanation, but if I had I wouldn't have left. And no. This was my life now. Ollie was my life now. Art was my life now. I wouldn't had known I had a chance of becoming a real artist if I were stuck on that bloody town of Riverdale. There I was only Betty Cooper, the girl next door willing to marry a boy next door, to buy a house in the Northside, doing simple strips for the Register. Only to get back home to a plastic life, without any chance of doing what I knew I was capable of.

Now I was Elizabeth Cooper. Recognized painter, mother, sometimes art teacher, free. None controlled my life but most important, I didn't hold back anyone's life.

If I hadn't left. Jughead Jones wouldn't have made his dreams came true. He probably would've settled with a marry life next to me and the world wouldn't know how talented he was. That was it. That was the real reason. The day I realized the potential we both had I knew what I had to do. Riverdale wasn't the place for us to grow. And unexpectedly, it didn't feel like home anymore so I was relieved as soon as I left.

I thought of France 'cause my mom had brought me here when I was a little girl, when we used to be a family. It was love at first sight and I knew I had to come back someday. He knew how it meant to me and still hadn't come looking for what he used to claim the love of his life. I was convinced they were all signs. Jughead Jones had completely erased me from his mind, heart and memory. I didn't blame him but that was the truth. And that was the center of the pain in my chest. The fact that I was no longer on his thoughts.

Did I mean that little to him?

Ollie tossed on me waking up.

'Can we go home, mommy? I think I want to sleep' I giggled at her and stood up, offering my hand.

'Let's go, I think we had enough sun for today'

We walked slowly. There was no rush on heading home. We had an entire life for us to spend together. I had no plans on sharing Olivia with anyone yet. She was mine, she was what I had left of him.

I almost tripped on when I saw it. It was his face.

'Mommy, are you okay?'

'Yes chérie, it's nothing. Mommy is a little sleepy too'

I stepped closer to the showcase. Yeah. It was definitely his face. I touched the glass carefully, fearing it was an hallucination. It was not.

I held a little harder Ollie's hand, indicating her to follow me inside the store. She just guffawed historically when she realized where she was, searching for the owner.

'Aunt Tony!' she ran onto the girl's arms as soon as she found her. The swarthy, pink-haired, petit girl gave her a big hug.

'Ollie! It's been ages baby girl' she said happily.

'We had lunch yesterday aunt Tony' Olivia cackled.

'It doesn't matter, you always make my day thousand times better' she fulled her face with kisses.

I watched the scene quietly smiling. I was too disturbed to let out any sound. While Ollie fed Tony up with what she had missed the past 18 hours of her life I approached to the inside showcase. I scrupulously spread a hand to it and grabbed what had my mind away since a few moments ago.

'Hey, are you okay?' I listened to Tony's voice whispering beside me.

'What is this?'

'Oh, it arrived today. It's the lastest best-seller'

'B—Best seller?' So it was not a dream. She was really holding to a book with his face on the back cover.

 _From passions and surfaces_ by _Forsythe Pendleton Jones III_.

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 **Hi! So here's the first chapter of this story. As I said before this is going to be a long journey, i can't even assure if jug is going to appear in the next chapter, but I can assure that these two lovebirds aren't going to see each other for another long time. Sorry. Thank you thank you for all the favs and follows, I do expect more reviews in this one, athough ty to the guest that reviewed last time, I hope this might answered a little bit your doubts. I will update as soon as I can. Please let me know what you thought of this, what you think is going to happen or just a hello. Pd, I loveeeeeeed the season two finale, did you?**

 **Lots of love, I hope to read you soon, L.**


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